APAT WCOAP Trip Report - Part 3 / 4

Sorry about the delay - been on holiday but that's a whole other blog post. Gonna keep this one short as I'm still knackered not having been back long.

The Adventures of NoCash and Hutch

Day 3 - Sunday 28th August

I awoke feeling ok at about 9am, but the previous night I got up for a piss about 20 times. Dunno what that was about but just couldn't seem to empty the tank. Anyhow, Hutch was quite chipper as well after only 6 hours sleep or something. It then dawned on me that he was actually smashed the previous night.

I forgot to mention this in my last post, but I remember going for a tricky dump when we got back and he asked if I would like to listen to Lighthouse Family to help ease me through the situation. WTF? Next thing I know, fucking 'Lifted' is banging out of his iPhone with him singing along and presumably dancing outside the bathroom door. It was a surreal moment to say the least and I wasn't sure what to do. I give it a big push to try and end the situation asap but that hurt my arse somewhat so just had to grit my teeth and play through hoping he would fuck off which he eventually dead.

[ ] Good taste in music
[x] Weird dude

So we are up for 9am and again for 0.001 seconds we decided not to drink all day as I had to play Day 2 the following day, not to mention we had the 6-max comp in the afternoon. By 11am we have polished off brekko and Hutch (who is turd at flips) pays for it again. Free breakfast tastes so sweet.

Note to Hutch: Breakfast would be cheaper if you didn't have everything on the menu you fat fuck.

11:33 sees us in a pub by a canal doing in a few liveners before the afternoon's comp, although a cheeky arse wasp decides to finish mine for me. What I way to die though, smashed of your face is a giant glass of Guinness


We dick about at the hotel for a bit then I drive us across to DTD where we have a good two or three more before the start of the 6-max. I have a pretty uninteresting table and I'm done within about 2 levels after firing a world class three-barrel airball into a station who rivers a set with his low pair. wp me. I go back to the bar to get some munch and a few spins on roulette before I tackle the cash games again, but take a break to see how Hutch is getting on. He has played 12 consecutive hands and is pretty fucking smashed at this point. I go to get him a pint to a loud shout of "Bring me my nerd pwning juice you Twunt".

He lasts about 30 more minutes which is about 25 more than I thought he would

I find myself getting merrily pissed whilst donking roulette and watching footy with CCTV when I ask if we should go out to town? He says he already has plans to go to Hooters with Maylis Boardman and her pals  and that myself and Hutch are welcome to come along. I agree and go play cash for a couple of hours before we leave. I had managed to find a good table and with beers flowing and money rolling in I reluctantly leave for my first Hooters experience. We are waiting for a cab outside DTD for ages when a young lad asks if we are going hooters. I said yes and fuck waiting...and proceeded to ring three different cab firms with 3 different names (one of them being 'Tracey' for some reason) and we jump in the first one that arrives. Bit of a cunts trick, but I was pissed and we had been waiting nearly half an hour

Quick review of Hooters:
Food = Shite
Tits = Awesome

Not much more to say on that subject. After food we walk into the city centre and it's a bit of a dive tbh. We end up paying 8 notes or something daft to go in some shit club with terrible music and a PA by some survived miscarriage of a Reality TV show 'star'. All was not lost however as I got to witness, first hand, the single most ludicrous dancing I've ever seen a human being do. James 'CCTV' Roberts....what the fuck mate!!! It was like watching a spastic having a stroke whilst being electrocuted and best of all he wasn't taking the piss. That's his actual dance. Jesus wept. Dancing is supposed to be a form of foreplay so I think I've found a wanker for life. Sponsor him for just £2 a month.

It's getting on a bit and at about 2:30 - 3am, Myself and Hutch give it billy big steps out of the side entrance and go back to DTD.

We are both ball bagged by this point, but amazingly Hutch ends up with a small profit and I make about £450 playing on the same table. We decide to call it a night at around 4:30am.

[ ] Good prep for ME Day 2


Dream of Vegas said...

lol class write up, just read the three parts . . . dramatic delay to the money shot, you should write porn you twunt

Kevin Stevens said...

Some spread in WPT magazine this month, genuine poker super star now!